Some Pink Floyd Quote
Spring is coming. Today can feel it. I just realized it will be my second spring, but it takes doing something 10,000 times before you're an expert at it, which means I'll never live to master how to enter a spring without feeling in love. Some distant spring(s) may conveniently pair that association with reality, but that's not what I want for this year.
and I hear an echo of "what do you want for this year?" and then it echoes and echoes some more because the question is clearer than any answer I can find.
I want clocks to tick silently
I want to find my typewriter
I want to figure out what terrifies me about starting to really write again
I want to remember my poem as easily as I do Buddy Wakefield's
I want to travel alone
I want my friends to forgive me for not wanting to be one
I want not to feel like life is heavy when it isn't
I want to respect church communities
I want to stop feeling the need to justify everything
I want to find myself in some place, anyplace, at any time and realize that the happiness I'm experiencing in that place is not mold-breaking, but the mold itself.
I want to look forward not because it's my only choice, but because it's the choice I've made
I want to lie stomach-down on a grassy hill and feel the earth move
I want to learn how to ice skate
I want to make mix CDs without a sense of nostalgia
I want to be able to address the break-up as a shift in my life without feeling the need to clarify the shift as triumphant or not
I want to understand why I'm not happy, despite my best efforts
I want to figure out if I'm unhappy because it's not happiness I'm looking for
I want to figure out what I'm looking for
3 comments:
And with every step you take, to find what you are looking for, I will be there, every step. Love u
(l.o.v.e.)
I've been feeling this way lately and I'm glad somebody else is, too. Glad in the sense that I'm not crazy, not glad that you have to feel this, too.
"Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living."
"I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it."
I like when people think how I think. I like you.
(y.o.u.)
You know what? Fuck breakups. You deserve all of the happiness in the world, and it really pisses me off that you are hurting. You're going to change the world one day. Have always known that and always will.
-Les
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