Wake

So sometimes I shamelessly post things in the wee hours of the morning to document the contrast between my mornings and nights. And when I woke up this morning, I remembered last night's post and didn't regret it, but regretted posting something in such a fragile state that would make anyone worry. So I'll have you know that I don't intend to censor my moodiness (which is even crappier when there aren't hormones to blame), but I don't live in a constant state of depression.

My morning at work was spent thinking about why I feel so alone, and I put together this whole day of stuff I could happily do alone: see an art gallery, go to my favorite bookstore, walk the Williamsburg Bridge back into Manhattan, walk St. Mark's Place.... but when I got home from work I was way too exhausted to complete an adventure. But truly, it matters more to me that I got my spirits up about a day of plans without worrying about who would respond to my texts and go with me than it does that I didn't end up going. And that made me think about this video my mom showed me:

Pretty swell, huh? I had bittersweet feelings about this because I related to every word, but I knew that being okay with being lonely wasn't what I really want. Although, I'm starting to think it might be.

And I need to stop hanging out with my cell phone so much. And follow through on the adventures I plan. Unless I'm just too dang sleepy.