Sometimes I worry that I am impossible to love.
That I wasn't made for it.
It doesn't matter that this contradicts everything I believe in.
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bulletproof blank (n): 1. an impenetrable space. 2. the frustrating sensation that no word used in that gap could convey what I am trying to say.
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5 comments:
Lucy-
I feel your pain, my friend.
I think that it's important to define exactly what you are missing, because love is such a weird, rather useless, over-used word.
Do you feel like it's impossible for people to understand you? Want to be around you? Etc...
Figuring out the tangible component of your emptiness might help you fill the void.
For me, I finally realized that no one makes me feel really safe (physically or emotionally).
I hope this helped.
--Minty
Completely off the subject of your post: Starbucks Symphonic has arrived! I have not listened to it yet but am quite excited for it. I am also jealous that everyone's track lists have been much fancier than mine.
I felt this way before I found Nate. I felt like I was saying, "I love you" because of what I wanted to become and feel, instead of what I actually felt. I dated my ex boyfriend for 3 years. I wanted to become that couple out of high school that makes it. I don't even know who's dream that is, but I wanted to do it for some reason. Saying "I love you" was supposed to help us stay together, or at least I thought so. Obviously it doesn't.
I know it feels that time is flying past you quickly, but as a "semi-old" person let me just say that:
a) You've got time.
b) If you're talking about a friendship type of love, then you might just being overly introspective because there are lots of people out here who "love" you just the way you are.
c) If you're talking about "the love" (i.e. a boyfiend and eventually a husband), I seriously doubt you'll have trouble finding that when the time comes.
d) If you're worried that no one will completely understand you, well, that's possible. No one REALLY, COMPLETELY understands me although Kradan comes closest and others understand some of the wierd funky parts that others miss.
Hello. And Bye.
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