Showing posts with label cognitions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cognitions. Show all posts

Saturday, June 14, 2008

and the world was it's own psychoanalyst

Where do you find your therapy?

Are you able to self-analyze but not dwell,
introvert but not shut out?

Or rather, are you able to look at your actions, your problems, your vices and shortcomings, and understand their origin? Their purpose?

Do you always need a second opinion?

What would you do if you were alone?

...not that you ever should be. But. While echoing Donald Miller's conviction that "we are not wired to be alone," I also mean to wonder, concerning dependence, how much is too much. At what point does companionship hamper our ability to know ourselves?

By this I speak less of restricting time spent with or time invested in others than I do of harping upon the need for an underlying and unrelenting sense of self. The time it takes to find yourself also depends. The rub is that it's losable and, based on outside influence, always in danger. I've found one that I mean to hold on to. Sometimes I worry that it strongly affects the way I handle others' pleas for input.

This is the reason we all must learn to stand alone. Perhaps the only time we choose to be will exist in the late hours before sleep, or during the fitness walks around the neighborhood. But needing others to judge your decisions before you can for yourself is ultimately detrimental.

This said, I don't mean to judge how any person spends their time.

Only to judge any person on the self-determined Path to Self that chooses never to walk it alone.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

A Journey That Will Reveal to Me

I hadn't yet matched what I want to do
with what I can do
or what it would take to get there.
I imagined I'd be happy,
wherever I was,
and that I'd have been happy along the way.
I figured that if my passion didn't
match my proclivity,
I'd find a new passion.

***

One can't teach another to write.
Writing's core is at the author's
want to say something
and the ability to say it
--the need to say it--
through words and the imagery words create.
I believe I am on a journey
that will reveal to me
whether or not I can write.
But if I can't?
I couldn't stop.
Without words and music, I don't know
where I'd be.
Music feeds me
but never allows me to feed myself.
I need to develop
to take hold
of my observations and concerns
so as to channel them
onto a page
through a pen
well.

***

Here is where I release any wants
and offer completely my heart to the Lord.
I feel this wordcraft has been pressed
on my heart as a method and talent
but will never truly glorify
unless matched with calling and direction.
The amount of potential and responsibility
I feel from the Lord as He speaks to me
is overwhelming.
He offers me a taste of my meaning
and no more.
He leaves me uncertain enough
to yearn for Him daily.
I've found
He's made my heart wise.
I don't know yet
what to make of that.

***

As far as life's plan goes,
I will follow the path
where His will overlays my goals.
I'll go to college, get a job
and I'll be pleased with myself
and what I am for Him.
Please don't tell me I could do better.
My heart holds no place for your naive concern.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

To Feel Alive

My life is changing.

***

My music and words
and your words
and their words
and books
and Bible
the people and places and things
and ideas
the actions
the tears and smiles
the laughter.

My life is changing...

You are changing my life.

Everything and Everyone I have ever known,
...is changing my life.
I am seeing more than I ever could have,
relying on more than I ever would have,
thinking of more than I ever should have.

My feet are on the ground
while my head's in the clouds,
my eyes are on your lips
while my ears tune to Dave
humming, humming...

I don't know what to feel
because I feel more than I know how to.
I don't want to choose.
I am going to live it all.

No worries--
I know what I live for
I know what I love for
I know what I learn for
and yearn for

I know where you are.
I know where you'll be.
I know where I'll be
when you want to find me.

I know where I'll cry
when you forget where we've been,
I know who I'll listen to
when I can no longer trust myself.

I know how to feel
but not how to say,
I know who to need
but not who to leave,
I knew when to look away
but not when to forgive...
forgive and forget.

I know how to sing
to myself in the dark
I know how to dance
in the shower
I know how to overuse
people
and places
and things
and ideas.

I know how to give myself too much credit,
and I know how to leave the doubt behind.

I know what it is
to feel alive.