Mumford & Me

*first, a shout out to my dear Molly, whose name I drop as often as I hear Mumford & Sons raved about. :)

"But you and I now, we can be alright
Just hold on to what we know is true
You and I now, ‘though it’s cold inside
Can feel the tide turning

He can't tell what it’s about
So he runs up to the nearest girl
And he comments on her glorious curls
Says darling come with me
I'll show you a whole new world"

***

"And my head told my heart
'Let love grow'
But my heart told my head
'This time no'
This time no"

That last chunk is quoted pretty often because it's pretty relatable. The whole head v. heart battle is universal. The sensation I've been....sensing, however, is that my heart is willing, and my head is not. I don't know how I went from knowing I find myself in love so knowing I don't need love to find myself, but it's a very strong distinction that I can't fight. I've chalked it up to "being in a new phase of my life," but the strings attached to that are invisible. I never expected this phase to be so...solitary. I was happy when I was in love, ecstatic and sure and glowy and effervescent and confident and optimistic. I am still some of those things. Even the "in love" is on the table. But the table has wobbly legs. Didn't I take the right preventative measures? Isn't my heart supposed to be stronger than my head?

I take solace in the fact that God is stronger than my head and my heart. And my overanalyzing and my doubt and my worry and my fear and my solitude.

Solitude.

***

"The question I would have liked to ask people is 'Are you in love? What are you reading?'"

Cheers, darlings. And feel free to answer those questions.