Sometimes I worry that I am impossible to love.
That I wasn't made for it.

It doesn't matter that this contradicts everything I believe in.

Meme: The Lucy Edition

* Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about him/herself.
* People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
* At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
* Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

Leave me a comment if you would like to be tagged.


1) When I was four I stuck a china berry up my nose. On Christmas Day. The hospital and a pair of tweezers aided in the extraction of the berry from my little nostril. Soon after came the Barbie bowl and the plastic bead. Why are nostril-sized wonders left in the reach of four-year-olds?

2) I have moved eleven times in these fifteen years. I was born in Portland, Oregon, moved to Phoenix, Arizona, and then here (with many moves in each state). I never went to preschool or kindergarten, so I attended only four elementary schools.


3) I am scared silly of the Six Flags mascot guy. The old one. Who dances badly (and baldly) to the scary music. I hate him. I also hate clowns, but that's a given.

4) I swallowed a dime last month. Yes, last month. It was no accident. I had been offered money to swallow a nickel but was afraid I would choke. He took back the offer, but I wanted to see if I could eat a smaller monetary unit...so I did. Later that week, a good friend of mine did the same. I was "an inspiration".


5) I was supposed to be a dwarf. Pretty far along in my mother's pregnancy, the doctors let her know that my limb measurements (via Ultrasound) were unusual for a regular sized baby... They told my mother that her first child would be a little person and asked if she would like to "terminate the pregnancy". Thank the Lord, she politely declined; my dad says they didn't care at all how tall I would be. Here I stand today at 5'5", give or take half an inch. Crazy docs.

6) I deliberate longer than most people about whether or not to kill a bug. My philosophy: if they're in my house, they're a pest. Nevertheless, I will stare at that bug for ten minutes with shoe in hand. For instance. Last night, I noticed a darker spot of carpet. There it was: a long-legged winged thing under a stool in my room. I immediately put a shoe on (my leg provides sufficient space between the bug and myself, my arm does not) and eyed the creep. Thoughts flying through my head: maybe it's already dead. maybe it's asleep. maybe I can kill it tomorrow. maybe it will run to a place where I just can't seem to reach it. Alas, the buggy guy moved, removing all hope of previous death and/or exhaustion. I moved to kill it at least three times. My hands were shaking. I counted down from ten and crushed the thing during an extreme moment of bravery. Yeah. I'm a wuss.

I also hate the crunching noise they make.

7) I judge people based on their grammar usage. For others who do the same, chances are you've already passed judgement. For those who do not seem to mind whether or not their use of the English language is the right one, your day will come. Please perfect your homonym knowledge. Their, there, they're. Your, you're. To, too, two. It kills me. They do, after all this time, continue to have different meanings. Know them. Love them.


8) I enjoy making cootie catchers with Starburst wrappers. Little baby ones. (As you can see, I am out of interesting facts about myself. Eight is a few too many, obviously.)

Periodical Wisdom

I recently read (maybe it was Men's Journal...) that the way to judge a relationship is not through one's reaction to bad news, but to good news.

I heartily agree with this observation. Sympathy is quite universal. It's safe to say that a friend one trusts with bad news is trusted to ease the pain, sorrow, frustration, etc. How capable that friend is of handling happy information is a separate entity entirely.

Ex: "I might be going to California to see my aunt this summer!!"
"I'm going to an Ohio amusement park."
"Oh... that's cool, too." Notice the deadened enthusiasm.

Or: "I could make section leader next year!!"
"That would never happen. Oh, I mean, just kidding. Sure."
Good save.

These are recent, real-life interactions that left much to be desired. The words "I'm so sorry!" are expected. "I'm so proud of you!" is a phrase heard less often. It's a surprisingly revealing indicator.

Happy Mother's Day

Thank God for your mother.

- David O. Selznick