once enclosed by falling lids,
corneas from slate to cerulean
spin around violently to latch on
to any remains of lanky lamentation.
so far ago yet
nowhere differently,
they still swim ashamed
wishing to stare through skull.
in a minor key
tone deaf geeks screamed
to her
not good enough, no
crumbling pedestals leave some
bury others, but sadly
revive survivors
who run to kiss the wrecking ball.
anyone seen the bridge down by the river?
the ants are marching through the still water stream.
you might die trying to save me from the big eyed fish
the captain was so damn lucky to crash into me.
the maker will say goodbye
to the sister with so much to say.
lover lay down to spoon the little thing
if i had it all i'd sleep to dream her everyday.
dancing nancies hunger for the great light
tripping billies cry freedom on grey street
the gravedigger's digging a ditch in the warehouse
we'll lie in our graves beneath the dreaming tree.
stolen away on 55th and 3rd,
busted stuff from granny let you down.
the american baby was out of my hands
rapunzel's got the best of what's around.
#41's grace is gone
#27 demanded he stay or leave
#34 said recently, "don't drink the water."
#40 sang the christmas song on halloween.
melissa had a crush on the bartender
and found the space between the old dirt hill and stone so right
but when the pig became the proudest monkey,
an angel sang a song that jane likes.
drive in, drive out to the louisiana bayou
where are you going when the world ends?
our last stop to seek up is one sweet world
you never know if i'll say hello again.
Aw, that's sweet of you...
You must care at least a little if you're able to take it back.
--I'm sorry?
You meant to convey that the specified circumstance means nothing to you?
Ohhh.
You were searching for but failed to use the popular exclamation, 'I COULDN'T care less.'
I understand now...
No one can know me as well as I do
because I'm scared.
{that once the people who've caused more feelings than they were ever aware of
-that's a surprisingly large group of people considering all the everything-
became aware of them
I would be viewed beneath and through the feelings.}
I'm not sure this blog can express what I really think and feel anymore.
I know too many of you...
and I've found I'm not strong enough to say.
{I have just enough strength to wrap this up and wait
for the midnight reveal
and not enough strength to wear my heart
this real heart!
on my sleeve
and hood
and pants legs
No doubt the second requires more.}
This all hinges, really, on one thing I've never said
(but believe wholeheartedly.)
And perhaps even then
I know the hard faces I've worn too well
to let a single soul meet me where they melt.
but I'm willing to try
I hadn't yet matched what I want to do
with what I can do
or what it would take to get there.
I imagined I'd be happy,
wherever I was,
and that I'd have been happy along the way.
I figured that if my passion didn't
match my proclivity,
I'd find a new passion.
***
One can't teach another to write.
Writing's core is at the author's
want to say something
and the ability to say it
--the need to say it--
through words and the imagery words create.
I believe I am on a journey
that will reveal to me
whether or not I can write.
But if I can't?
I couldn't stop.
Without words and music, I don't know
where I'd be.
Music feeds me
but never allows me to feed myself.
I need to develop
to take hold
of my observations and concerns
so as to channel them
onto a page
through a pen
well.
***
Here is where I release any wants
and offer completely my heart to the Lord.
I feel this wordcraft has been pressed
on my heart as a method and talent
but will never truly glorify
unless matched with calling and direction.
The amount of potential and responsibility
I feel from the Lord as He speaks to me
is overwhelming.
He offers me a taste of my meaning
and no more.
He leaves me uncertain enough
to yearn for Him daily.
I've found
He's made my heart wise.
I don't know yet
what to make of that.
***
As far as life's plan goes,
I will follow the path
where His will overlays my goals.
I'll go to college, get a job
and I'll be pleased with myself
and what I am for Him.
Please don't tell me I could do better.
My heart holds no place for your naive concern.
