Soggy Wishes

The most satisfying spring breaks are spent at home...if you like nothing more than a good errand. What's wrong with you?

Just kidding. Today was a bank run. My dad would have liked to take the little red convertible. A bit too chilly, I say. How about a motorcycle? How logical is that. But whatever. The bank is one of my favorite rides. And besides, the helmet keeps my face warm.

Our bank has a big beautiful fountain, crooked today because of the wind. Out of my mother's black denim jacket pocket I pull two pennies, thankful they didn't find the hole in the corner. Wanna make a wish, Dad? My favorite part about these wishes, is seeing the ones made before me..each represented by a one-cent piece. Today however, a thick layer of soil covers the depths of the fountain, concealing past hopes - both shiny and dull. My father flips the penny as far as he can. I'm not sure what he wished, or if he even did. Obviously the flight of the penny was more important. Where will you put yours? he asks. I think for a bit and toss it a few feet in front of me. He never asks what I wish for. He knows I wouldn't say.

This picture, of this girl, what do you think of? Looks like me, huh? Hah. No. It doesn't look like me at all. Yet when I see her, I imagine who I could be. I love her hair. If I wasn't blonde, I would try it today. I still might. Her Converse are broken in, and her bicycle is worthy of a second look. It'd better be, right? It's an ad for the thing. Don't forget the helmet. Safety first.

She looks strong, like she's been through a lot. I want to hear those stories. Why isn't she reading the magazine? Who distracted her? She doesn't look pleased... Apathetic, perturbed, even. But that's okay. She's earned it. I don't know how, and neither does she. She just showed up at the photo shoot, never expecting that I would flip through the latest issue of Ready Made and wish I was her.

What Do You Want?

"what do you want"
an inquiry commonly posed by
involved, overwhelmed persons
looking to find out as quickly as possible
AQAP
if only to offer it and be done with me
well since you're asking...
i want a new wardrobe for starters
old jeans. vintage rocker tees. my chucks.
i want too many pairs of chucks to possibly wear
i want the confidence to chop off my hair
i want a bright red Schwinn
i want a quaint apartment
with a laundry chute
i want it to look like an IKEA display
i want to be a journalist
i want to write about music
i want to listen to music professionally
i want to find my new favorite song
i want to be in a rock band
of course
the bassist
i always loved that bassist
i want to be a poet
and know it
i want to read enough poetry
to have a favorite
i want to be a favorite
i want to meet an admirer
i want to tell myself i'm worth admiring
and believe it
i want to read all the classics
and understand why it was labeled a classic..
i want to watch every 5 star movie
4 stars is okay too
i want to marry John Cusack
i want to marry?
yes. i suppose.
my self-sufficient mentality can only last so long
and that's okay
i do want love
i love to collage
i want to collect handmade wonders
i want to place my thoughts inside them
on their beautiful papers
i want another piece of college-ruled paper
music to my eyes
i want so much
and most of all
i want to be really really good
at being who i want to be