Edges

Earlier than the sun she wakes to his elbow between her ribs. His edges sleepwalk like her mind--panic attacks manifest only in recurring nightmares. Dry eyes scan the ceiling, forbidding a glance at the bedside table. She overrides their conviction and observes a clock's top right corner enclosed by two black arrows. She appreciates his shape rising and falling next to her but no longer craves it. If only, she muses, everything were as concrete as time.

Inclement

single-passenger umbrellas fill the streets as rain does,
grates absorbing the storm and filth,
sleeves absorbing the weight.
it's not moisture they fight, but gravity
willing the clouds instead to swell
gray, full, stoic
as though with the silent
pride and thick
ambition
city dreams require.
'Be nice to everyone, for each fights a battle'
or something like that.
cabs carry two
one driving, one paying
yet tonight
as one
we battle the rain.

Hush

All along the western front, the ringtones and blingtones screamed from the spires. "I can see you and be you," they cried. "Be me?" I inquired. "What am I to be while you are me? If my eyes are to be free, should they see you being me? Am I to bleed into the sea so the you that's me can be?"

They shrugged.

***

Tears are tributaries. Cheeks the basins, sorrow the sea. Droughts are signs of good times, then, but what are the fish to breathe?

***

I love you, Great Grandma Bebe. I will miss your soft words and humor, you calling me precious, you smiling as we walked in the door. Please forgive me for not being there once you didn't know whether to smile. Internet spans the nations, right? And the heavens, I believe. You will see this somehow, or feel it straight from me, as I will feel you for the rest of my life.

Hey Kids

I haven't written in ages. Maybe that's why my back hurts.

Recent thoughts for those who wonder why I never post them:
1) I hope I pass my driver's license test next Thursday
2) My siblings and I are growing up to be really cool people
3) I love that feeling when you first meet a friend and have a gut feeling that you'll be each other's support system for a long time coming. I love the ambiguity and anticipation in that feeling even more than I love the security in knowing that they feel the same about you. Must be the dose of gambler's adrenaline in my veins.
4) Poker is fun
5) I'm going to be on my complete own in the capital of the world, and I'm not nervous about it. Though I can't tell if understanding that you think I would be means I actually am....
6) I have a sinking feeling that I'll never get around to seeing very much of the world. Seriously, it gnaws at me.
7) I need to stop priding myself on being a ray of reality in people's lives and start focusing on becoming a ray of sunshine.

Sunshine is real, after all.

Pop Tart

I've been having thoughts lately. The kind I would write down if I were sitting down to my typewriter as I had them. But I never was. And I pretended that introspection's majesty lies in its internalization. I changed my mind. A thought's majesty lies in the possibility that it could affect another's thoughts. Interactions, relationships, discussions, opinions, arguments, agreements, realizations, after all, make the world go round. More so than, in my opinion, fat bottoms ever did. But hey.

Also, I dance wildly in computer chairs. In the wee hours of the morning. To Lady Gaga. Adios, Indie. Helloooo pop, love, and happiness.

Happy summer, loves.

Roomy Nations

I think this next chapter of my life is going to be a picture book.
the words will be in the back of the book on a page called Acknowledgments. and Index.


also, damn you, insecurities. that is all.

A is for Alive

I hope you can imagine the places where, if I were to read my writing, my eyebrows would raise, my eyes would tear, my jaw would set, my lips would smile, my fists would clench, my chin would lift, my head would hang, my eyes would widen.

I hope you can imagine what my words, were they to live, would look like.