You Are Impossibly Beautiful.

http://www.vimeo.com/7920691

what's my secret?

You know, -this isn't a secret, exactly- I sometimes wonder why I grew to be so open that I can't keep anything inside. For me to feel an emotion and not express it is very difficult. Sometimes I wish I were more mysterious. That I could be quiet for thirty minutes and not seem sad or afflicted.

then again..

***

I thought of this just now while watching the faces on the video at the top of postsecret.com and thought of one I'd rather not take the time to send in to Frank. why not attach my name to it?

I wish there were no such thing as gender-bound sexuality. Both to render homophobia impossible, and to make it possible to tell a beautiful woman that I find her attractive without freaking her out :) I envy those beautiful women less often than I hope from the bottom of my heart that they know how much beauty they add to the world.


what's your secret?

Are You Sure?

Things are starting to get a leeetle bit scary;
I thought I was too young to hold on for dear life.

Happy Holidays, Americans

Have a lovely Thanksgiving!

Here's to the last holiday we can wish each other uniformly without fearing political correctness.

Until New Year's,

:)

Amoeba

blood, its traces proof
of desperate, bursting desire
to transpose thoughts exploded
into utterable phrases
fit to cross lips
live air

by even a heart whose finnicky
borders
shimmer across a baked horizon
melt quickly in order to float
evaporate across
borders

twitched veins pumping proof
of throats clogged with sounds
noises, really
living amoebas' lives
refusing language
and taking the form, instead
of bubbling, simmering

weight.
blood drips to fly
not of pain
injury
but of vitality
flying to paint the sky

the sky that finds all faces
not the same
but just the same,
mirrors each dimple, tear
with feverish precision

only one perfectionist the judge
judging slowly
by measurable standards
immeasurable error
and beauty,
no less
no less
than one in the same

United States of Anticipation

I've had a lot to think about over the past few days. My whole life to think about, really. Every aspect of my coming life hid around the corners of an 1800 mile road trip to New York City.

I don't have time to spell it out right now, but I only have...eight months until my life enters a new, inevitable chapter.

I don't know how I feel about that.

Silence

[romantic addiction: http://leloveimage.blogspot.com/]

Fear

[I found this in my journal from a little bit ago. Free material!]

lilted hopes fall from last week's roses,
--overcome by foolish necessity,
varnished with melted fantasy--
endlessly stripped by midnight's fear.

lingering are the echoes of inevitability
across phone lines, hallways, borders
--never quite geared for cake and china,
garnished with buttercream and lost replies,
upstaged by a decrepit gardener--
awaiting a flower's leap of faith.
glowing embers of compatibility
extinguish, making room for dawn.